Thursday, November 20, 2008

The Problem with Push, Tweak, and my writing

Tweak and Push are two very personal books on completely different subjects. They are not only personal to the authors that write them, but become personal to the audience following along. I have been thinking about these books constantly over the past two weeks, and I believe that is why I have had a problem writing. I relate to these books very much, and that has scared me. Maybe not always to the problems the authors are having, but to how the characters feel and the lives they live.

For Tweak, everyone has an addiction. This could anything from meth, to cutting, to even just going on roller coasters. For me, its driving. I love the thrill of being in control of a machine going at high speeds. It is an adrenaline rush like no other. The worst the weather the conditions, the higher the level of thrill. Going 90 on a sunny day does not even give me a buzz anymore. It is a scary thought to be able to lose that rush. It is still an addiction and I keep wanting to push the envelope to see how far I can go. I don't want to die or anything and I think that is why I feel it is different. I still have that level of self preservation in my mind as I go speeding down the highway. Also, should I ever get a ticket, I know my feelings will change.

Push effected me in a completely different way. It was a horrific tale that I could not put down. I just wanted to keep reading. It invoked feelings of sadness, rage, and anger. I have known people who have had horrific stories like that. My mother is an inner city high school teacher in New Jersey. She deals with kids who admit to eating only one meal a day and brings them food so they could have a second or third meal. She has gotten books on tape, for kids who want to read but cannot keep up with their normal lessons. She is a math teacher. My mother has also went and brought shirts for kids who come in with ripped and dirty clothes. My heart always breaks and I go to pick out things with her. She has given out essentials for kids who have nothing. There are teachers who do want to help and are willing to go out of their way and do things to give these kids opportunities to have a better life. I have talked with my mother on the phone about this book. We swapped stories and just spoke about the terrible things going on in the world. She tells about having a teen in her class that just moved to the country. He came from a Spanish speaking country and had never been to a school in his life. She had him in her class and had so many problems with him not being able to read, write or even speak in English.

I have had most of this in my head for a few days. I knew I needed to think it through and get all my thoughts out. It was a lot to sort out as shown by the length of my post. I may post again, I still have so much more to say. Till next time......

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